Giving Up

Before I launch into my post, I should tell you that it won't be as melancholy as it's title would suggest!

Suga' Daddy and I have been super stressed out lately.  We're pretty sure we're not the only people in the history of the world who got married young, had babies right away, bought a house we couldn't afford, and felt like we completely lost ourselves in the process....but the fact that it's par for the course for a lot of people doesn't make it any easier, nah'mean?  We were talking about it the other night.  And by "we were talking," of course I mean "I started crying out of nowhere and he didn't know what was going on."  It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's super fun!

I've just been thinking a lot lately about how the hubs and I hardly ever spend any time together just hanging out and enjoying one another's company.  He leaves for work before the boys and I get up, and he gets home an hour before they go to bed.  He's so exhausted that he normally just comes in from the garage and passes out on the couch.  Of course, all I want after a day at home by myself with babies is to interact with him.  It's just not the same when he's unconscious!

When we do talk, it's usually about bills or how lame our jobs can sometimes be.  Not exactly knee-slappin' material.  I began to wonder--is this seriously all we are now?  Just two people who live in the same house, who share each other's stress and not much else?  Because if so, that ain't gonna fly!  When we were best friends/engaged, we spent an average of 8 hrs a day on the phone together and all we did was talk and laugh and look forward to when we'd be doing it again.  Whenever we hung out, we would sit as close as we could and we'd flirt and make fun of each other.  Not recently-what's up with that??

We're still totally in love, but I think we get so caught up in our roles as parents and as husband and wife that we let all of the fun stuff take a back seat to everything else--as if it's less important.

But it's not!!  Sure, we have responsibilities to our bosses and our coworkers and our church callings and, oh yeah, our kids.  But all of that stuff can be (should be) fun, too!  We have responsibilities to ourselves, am I right?  To do whatever we need to do to get as much enjoyment as we can out of life, regardless of what stage we're in.


Isn't it strange that the choice to be happy can sometimes be such a difficult one to make?  It's easy to sulk when I don't get enough sleep or I have to work and I don't feel like it.  It's so easy to feel entitled to things I don't have, or to get mad instead of letting something go.  It's WAY too easy for me to worry about things over which I have no control.  But how much better would I feel if I chose instead to dwell only on the things that make me feel blessed beyond what I deserve?  If I chose to see the glass as 'half-full?'

There's a song that expresses all of this stuff more beautifully (and much more concisely) than I ever could. 

I love it because it's about all of the things I worry about, but shouldn't! Suga' Daddy and I just need to readjust our focus.  Instead of fretting over the little things in life that can be hard to handle, I promise to fill my mind with all the ways my babies crack me up and make me dizzy with love; with how blessed I am to be in a relationship with someone who cares about me enough to work hard to provide for me--and to have the opportunity to be with my family for eternity.

I'm with Ingrid.  :)


  1. Beautiful song and poignant message. I think all of us marrieds or single parents feel that way from time to time. Keeping a positive outlook all the time isn't always easy but it is pretty rewarding. Thank you for the honest post and here's hoping you and your hubby can have a nice romantic date and/or vacation.

  2. WOW... it's like you looked inside my mind and wrote exactly what I was thinking! We've been going through the same type of thing. Busy with life and kids and not spending enough time with just us. We actually just talked about it today. And we didn't even get married young! :) It's nice to know we aren't alone and that it must be a normal thing couples go through. Love ya!!

  3. It's okay to feel that way as long as you don't actually give up. Remember that the Lord already knows you'll be fine. A lady in some movie said "no matter how bad things get, they can always get worse" which weirdly comforts me. :)

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  5. It's our current phase of life. Everybody in our similar situation is having the same kind of crap, which makes the cruise ship of life pretty smelly right now; but maybe if we all start shovelin un-necesary poo (stress, things you can't change, etc.) it'll smell more like roses. Call anytime you feel you need to.