Giving Up

Before I launch into my post, I should tell you that it won't be as melancholy as it's title would suggest!

Suga' Daddy and I have been super stressed out lately.  We're pretty sure we're not the only people in the history of the world who got married young, had babies right away, bought a house we couldn't afford, and felt like we completely lost ourselves in the process....but the fact that it's par for the course for a lot of people doesn't make it any easier, nah'mean?  We were talking about it the other night.  And by "we were talking," of course I mean "I started crying out of nowhere and he didn't know what was going on."  It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's super fun!

I've just been thinking a lot lately about how the hubs and I hardly ever spend any time together just hanging out and enjoying one another's company.  He leaves for work before the boys and I get up, and he gets home an hour before they go to bed.  He's so exhausted that he normally just comes in from the garage and passes out on the couch.  Of course, all I want after a day at home by myself with babies is to interact with him.  It's just not the same when he's unconscious!

When we do talk, it's usually about bills or how lame our jobs can sometimes be.  Not exactly knee-slappin' material.  I began to wonder--is this seriously all we are now?  Just two people who live in the same house, who share each other's stress and not much else?  Because if so, that ain't gonna fly!  When we were best friends/engaged, we spent an average of 8 hrs a day on the phone together and all we did was talk and laugh and look forward to when we'd be doing it again.  Whenever we hung out, we would sit as close as we could and we'd flirt and make fun of each other.  Not recently-what's up with that??

We're still totally in love, but I think we get so caught up in our roles as parents and as husband and wife that we let all of the fun stuff take a back seat to everything else--as if it's less important.

But it's not!!  Sure, we have responsibilities to our bosses and our coworkers and our church callings and, oh yeah, our kids.  But all of that stuff can be (should be) fun, too!  We have responsibilities to ourselves, am I right?  To do whatever we need to do to get as much enjoyment as we can out of life, regardless of what stage we're in.

         

Isn't it strange that the choice to be happy can sometimes be such a difficult one to make?  It's easy to sulk when I don't get enough sleep or I have to work and I don't feel like it.  It's so easy to feel entitled to things I don't have, or to get mad instead of letting something go.  It's WAY too easy for me to worry about things over which I have no control.  But how much better would I feel if I chose instead to dwell only on the things that make me feel blessed beyond what I deserve?  If I chose to see the glass as 'half-full?'

There's a song that expresses all of this stuff more beautifully (and much more concisely) than I ever could. 

I love it because it's about all of the things I worry about, but shouldn't! Suga' Daddy and I just need to readjust our focus.  Instead of fretting over the little things in life that can be hard to handle, I promise to fill my mind with all the ways my babies crack me up and make me dizzy with love; with how blessed I am to be in a relationship with someone who cares about me enough to work hard to provide for me--and to have the opportunity to be with my family for eternity.

I'm with Ingrid.  :)

The Law of Attraction

The other day, I watched a documentary on "the secret" of success.  It's called The Law of Attraction.  Simply stated, the law is that if you wish long enough and continue to send out positive "vibes" to the universe, eventually you will get everything you desire.  Apparently, anything goes.  If you want to be wealthy, you'll be wealthy.  If you want a certain car, it'll be yours.  If you want to be skinny, it's goin down.

I'm not gonna lie, most of the people who were interviewed for the documentary struck me as a little kooky and the idea of just wishing really hard for something until you get it doesn't make any sense to me.  BUT, when they went into further explanation of the concept....it actually kinda started to.

They spoke of how, when you have a negative attitude--when you're heavily affected by the bad things that happen to you and you tend to dwell upon them, it attracts similar events.  You wake up in the morning and stub your toe, and there goes the rest of your day.  When you're worried you're going to be late to work, inevitably you are.  You're sure you're not going to get the promotion because you think your boss doesn't like you or you fear you're underqualified, so you don't get it.  These things happen because you expect them to, or you spend time worrying about them and in the meantime, you're sending out those "bad vibes" and "the universe" responds accordingly.

On the flip side, if you wake up in the morning and stub your toe, but you brush it off and think about how amazing the rest of your day is going to be, you'll find that everything goes right.  If instead of dwelling on the consequences of potentially being late to work, you concentrate on the likelihood of the cars in your lane going the fastest and getting an awesome parking space when you arrive at your destination, it shall be so!  If you see a position you wish to apply for, choose to think about how great you'll feel when they offer it to you and picture yourself in that new office and think about how the additional income will benefit your life, and inevitably you will get that position.

The documentary briefly hits on the fact that you shouldn't just sit around waiting for these things to happen.  It doesn't say much about working super hard to make your dreams come true (which has much to do with my misgivings concerning this "law").  However, it stresses the importance of acting upon any "feelings" or "ideas" you may get in order to facilitate the realization of your dreams.  It also stresses the importance of being grateful for what you already have.  (You know, sending out "grateful vibes".)

That being said...The Law of Attraction seems strangely similar to the principle of Faith!  It just kinda...takes it to another level that relieves you of a lot of responsibility.  Plus there's a little bit of "self-fulfilling prophecy" stuff mixed in there and I totally believe in that principle.

Anyway, the documentary was super interesting and it reminded me of how important it is to choose happiness in life.  Not only that, but to believe in yourself and your capabilities and to try to see yourself as God sees you....and to remember that His hand is in all things and that He has our best interest at heart.  If you can do that, and if you can set goals for yourself and cultivate a greater appreciation for what you've already been given, there's really nothing to stop you from living your dream life!

One of the things they suggest you do in the documentary is make a goal board.  You post pictures of everything you really want and put it somewhere where you can see it everyday.  It serves as a sort of an order placement with the universe.  Now, I may not expect the universe (or Heavenly Father) to just handle my request as any online retailer would, but I figure it could be a good source of motivation.  Also, looking at pretty things always makes me happy.  So that's what this post is going to be!  I'll include a few of the things I'm most thankful for as well.  Eventually, i'll make a tangible version.

I'm going to get in shape so I can look bangin' in the kind of clothes I really like!

                            
                          

Gonna have the funds to afford sweet shoes like this!  (not all of them, of course...moderation, right?)

I want to overcome my fear of bike riding (yeah) so that I can ride a bike like this!

(Or maybe even THIS!)

To move to Ireland and live in a house much like this, only with the grass roof!

The house should be stocked with things like....

My ultimate goal is to end up here:

And finally, the things I'm most thankful for (that I have pictures of)

If you want to watch the documentary, it's on netflix (reminder, it's a little kooky, but if you look past the weirdness, it's actually pretty enlightening).  It's called "The Secret".

My most recent (mini) project.

I've been wanting to make some headbands for a while and the other day, I found a pattern for a really pretty lace flower so last night I made THIS!

It doesn't look like much when it's just lying around, but when I put it on I fell in love!  

Usually, I spend my days in sweatpants and a t-shirt and I don't shower until like 2 in the afternoon because...I'm lazy and nobody but the baby's can see me so what I look like really doesn't matter.  But this morning, I got up early to take a shower and blow-dry my hair just so I could wear my new headband and feel pretty :)

What do you think?  Is this something you would wear?  Should I should make some for the shoppe?!

Oh, you know...

I'm up and Rowan's still asleep (at least, he isn't making any efforts to alert me that it's time to play) so I figure now's a good time to catch up on the ol' blog.

A lot has been going on the past couple of weeks (a lot for our family, at least) but, sadly, I haven't been able to document it with my camera because I'm lazy and-although the battery is charged and I know where it is-I haven't found the motivation to go to that place (my purse) and retrieve it for use.  Luckily, Buck's phone is generally handy so I do have a cute video to post along with this entry.  Probably most of you have seen it already as we're all friends on facebook but I think the video is cute enough to post twice and watch several times.

The Smith family Christmas party was on the 12th and it went pretty well, I thought.  I was pretty stressed about it even though it wasn't at our house because Buck and I were still technically the hosts and therefore responsible for the success or failure of the event.  I'm not used to family get-togethers since my family never got together unless somebody died so being around everyone in Buck's family at once is still a little overwhelming for me, haha.  Anyway, everyone brought food and enough people ate what I brought for me not to feel badly about it.  Having Rowan around is always nice because if I find myself in an awkward situation I can just stare at him intently like I'm making sure he's not getting into trouble :)

Well, it sounds like the Rowbot's ready to start the day so I better end this.  Here's that video though:

We had dinner at one of Buck's co-workers' house last week and the kids had 20 minutes of fun breakin' it down with this rapping christmas penguin :)

The Good Ol' Days

Earlier this morning, I was watching Rowan play in his jumper when he stopped to poop for a minute.  I figure most people reading this blog won't be too grossed out by my casual poop-talk because most of you either have kids or will be having them soon.  (If you're having one soon and the wonders of bodily functions still give you the willies, you may find that you won't feel that way for long.)

At any rate, as I saw what he was doing it made me think about the poop face he used to make when he was a tiny baby.  I know it's really odd for me to be talking about this but it's my blog and I do what I want :)  Remembering that face made me think about other things that I miss.  Here are a couple of them:

First off, here's the poop-face.  So cute!

I miss newborn Rowan!  Well, not the crying, but I miss how he would sit still and cuddle with us.

Angry stomp!  Whenever Rowan got really upset, Buck would help him stomp around the apartment.  Funniest thing ever.

Thelonneus.  The little stuffed alligator that one of Buck's coworkers gave him.  I think I liked it more than Rowan.  I don't know what happened to it :(

Rowan's Hitler-do.  I hated it and I'm glad it's finally grown out, but it was really really funny.  This is one of my favorite pictures of Rowan, hehe.